road trip: Javelina sightings!
July 5th, 2008I woke up early and restless, and was going out to take a walk before the temperature reached into the triple digits Fahrenheit. Jim joined me in the driveway of the cottage, and suddenly turned to me, whispering, “Hear that? Its javelina grunts!” Squatting down to look into the next door underbrush, there they were: a whole family group. Most of the javelinas wandered off to find their shady spot for the day, but two larger ones stayed behind, and were rather agitated about something. Finally, the source of their protective agitation became clear:
A large mama was turning circles in the underbrush, with four babies crying their little husky cries and flailing around underfoot. Another smaller javelina (maybe an immature auntie or older sister?) was near, but less concerned looking. Mama circled and circled, and snout sniffing the air, searched for a place to settle down. Finding none, she eventually and cautiously wandered onto the street and into the more wild brush.
The babies were not happy at all with her actions. They were looking for mama food, and kept trying to get close enough to the restless mama to catch some milk. Jim and I crouched silently nearby, trying very hard not to disturb the already disturbed mommy, but it was no use—mamma was not happy where she was for some reason. All her agitated movements stirred up the little ones, and there were a few times when one or the other baby would get under foot enough to be stepped on.
When the babies followed her onto the street, I then saw how frail these little babes were: They had just been born recently, because they all still had umbilical cords attached! I held my breath, hearing the babies cry plaintively as they were almost trampled by mom. I sighed a sigh of relief when they finally moved to a shady territory for perhaps a mid-day rest and feeding.
Being a mom myself, I understand the incredible protective instincts that take over one’s life when a newborn or young one is in one’s life. Even now, though my babies are 20 and 18 y.o., I still feel a sort of fierce protectiveness towards them, and care about their eventual true “launch’ into the wider world. Perhaps you’ve noted this in my notes about Eron’s journey: I will do everything in my power to make sure he is attended to, while still allowing him to learn whatever lessons are here for him to learn. I do not want to be considered a “smothering mother”, so a certain amount of letting go and letting the God within Eron take the reigns is my aspiration and desire. Hopefully, I am achieving this. But the challenge to not “take over” is overwhelming at times.
I am also thinking about some other “babies” in my life in the form of projects and creations where the fine line between nurturing and smothering was so thin: This morning I wonder: how many of my creations have I actually allowed to breathe, to grow, to mature to their full potentials? And how many have I actually smothered or trampled before their blossoming because of my agitation, my fears, my wanting to stay in control?
While walking in this morning’s humid, post-rainstorm air, I broke down into tears again. All I could see was a clean slate in front of me. Nothing is written on it, and there’s only a whisper of a hint as to what I might want to write. Something is waiting to be born, and I don’t want to cut it off before its time. When my new life’s creation is born, my desire is to nurture it lightly, allowing it to grow and evolve.
Last night I had a hint about this in the form of a painting I was attracted to in a local art gallery: The piece was called ‘Journey” and it was painted by a local Navaho artist. Four spirit-filled humans were journeying to a healing ceremony to restore “hózhó”, or harmony, to a situation or a person. The healing ceremonies can take up to nine days to enact, which speaks to me of the care it takes to make sure all unfolds in its time. Anyway, right now, a brief but concise sentence appears on the clean slate: “I take people on a journey of discovery and healing” What a coincidence–that was also the original theme of this magical road trip journey!
My prayer this morning is for all creators to allow their creations to come forth with grace and appropriate nurturing, allowing the precious offspring to grow to their full potential. This includes the javelina mamma and her newborns: Rest well today, Mamma J!
Aho! (Hopi for “It is so”.)
Elke